Old man late for church.

[kansashat]

The old man was late for church one Sunday morning. As he slowly pulled his car into the parking space, there was a tremendous explosion in the church. The windows belched vile looking clouds of brown smoke, followed by a sulphuric odor.
A split second later the congregation scrambled out of every orifice of the building. On their heels was the minister.
The old man entered the church & slowly ambled down the aisle. He sat in the front pew & looked to the pulpit.
Standing behind the pulpit was Old Scratch himself. Satan, the Devil, Lucifer...in his most fearsome incarnation.
Lucifer boomed, "do you know who I am?"
"Yep," the old man replied.
"Are you not afraid?"
"Nope," said the old man.
"Are you sure?" said the ancient & evil one.
The old man snickered & said, "Yep."
Lucifer lept from the stage & strode up to the old man. He leaned in close & clasped the old man's shoulder with a taloned hand. His nose was inches from the old man's.
He said through clenched teeth, "you know who I am & you aren't afraid. Why?"
"Hell boy, I been married to your sister for 43 years!"

[Lamar]

That's my kind of man!

[MADURO_MAS_DURO]

I always laugh when I hear this one.