Men & Women

[shelvingunit]

This is a good one....


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown
into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."


FOR EXAMPLE:



One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."


I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that
every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with
my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man."


She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.


Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis.


I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.


Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier".


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT???!!!"


I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."


And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[seagarsmoker]

LMAO

[MoTheMan]

[SIZE=7] :-)[/SIZE]

I liked it. Funn-ny!

[Churchlady]

humf!

[shelvingunit]

Originally Posted by Churchlady

humf!

I knew I'd get some reactions out of this joke.

I'm a newlywed so I had to post this, please understand

[LeafHog]

Originally Posted by 1f1fan

I knew I'd get some reactions out of this joke.

I'm a newlywed so I had to post this, please understand

In about ten years this will make you cry instead of laugh!!!

[Churchlady]

Hey, I'm just pullin chains - no offense taken!

[shelvingunit]

Originally Posted by Churchlady

Hey, I'm just pullin chains - no offense taken!

I know, no offense taken Churchlady, its all good

LeafHog, unfortunatly I can relate all too well....

[galaga]

Originally Posted by 1f1fan

I knew I'd get some reactions out of this joke.

I'm a newlywed so I had to post this, please understand

Have you heard about the jellybean theory of marriage. You put one jellybean in a jar for every amorous night when your a newly wed. Keep this up until things drastically taper off - if you then started to take a jellybean out for every time, the jellybeans won't be gone by the time your in your eighties----

Great Story -- congrats on being a newly wed

[Lamar]

Great joke that hits awfully close to home!