Peterson maduro ((Thompson)) review

[Drazzil]

Okay. Out of sheer boredrom, and apparently a death wish, I decided to give some of the thompson cigars ((that I hadn't given away or already smoked)) a chance.

I decided to try a "Peterson" brand of cigar. It was approximately five inches long.

Light: The cigar lit immediately. First impressions were of stale cigarettes, the acrid smell of a house burning, and plastic. I soldier on bravely.

First third of the cigar: Acrid, rough. Is my neighbors house burning? Has there been an earthquake, and is my neighbors house burning? Oh god! I think my neighbors house is burning! I get up, and check, the neighbors house is fine. The room spins a bit. No earthquake yet. The furniture seems to be fine. The room spins slightly. The cigar settles down and the taste of hay, manure, and burning sofa. The cigar develops a pretty long ash. I soldier on.

Second third of the cigar: The taste of burning house, burning sofa and plastic dissapates...mostly. A sweet taste develops... But this is no ordinary sweet taste, this is the perfume of a crack addled hooker who has serviced multiple partners over a marathon session of dollar bill fueled debauchery and been strangled to death at the end of a long shift by her pimp who found that she has been holding out on him and left to lie for a few days. The sweet taste then mellows slightly into what I can only describe as what you might get had you binged on dark chocolate pudding past the experiation date and then then drank some ipocac.

Last third of the cigar: A bitterness can be tasted. Like grain alcohol made in a bathtub brewed out of beets, or maybe corn, and then set on fire while you are drinking it. The vomit taste becomes more pronounced, or maybe this is the bile at the back of my throat... Steady boy... Only an inch left... Have to nub it to review...

Nub: The room is spinning now, gods... this must be what that poor sap on Alien felt like right before the alien burst through his chest. Did I menton the room was spinning? Oh yeah. The bitterness, burning plastic, burning couch, horse manure and chocolate and ipocac all revisit me... like the vengeful ghosts of everyone who ever died from smoking this abomination. When will it end? The cigar wont go out by itself... One last puff. Hold the phones! Call President Bush! I found out where Saddam has hid the weapons of mass destruction, thompson has them... MUST TELL SOMEONE! Tell my family I love them... The world narrows. I can see death in the corner of my eye. He looks an awful lot like the founder of Thompson... This is the end...


Im not dead?... Its not for lack of trying on Thompsons part... I must tell my brothers in the jungle.


I've carbon copied this post and sent it to Thompson. Any reply will be duly posted here.

[krash]

Nice review. Does this mean you're not getting a box?

[Sanitariumite]

great review, Sounds like my ideal stogie! Can I get a link? I've gotta get some. But hey, at least you enjoyed it right? Nothing quite like discovering your new go-to stick!
Adam

[CaddoMoney]

*THAT* was a great review - thanks for being a brave brother and smoking a Thompson.

[BigFrankMD]

hahaha classic,


box split?

[Darrell]

I am crying, that was HILARIOUS!

[mbirds]

Awesome review!

[Cigary]

Originally Posted by Drazzil

Okay. Out of sheer boredrom, and apparently a death wish, I decided to give some of the thompson cigars ((that I hadn't given away or already smoked)) a chance.

I decided to try a "Peterson" brand of cigar. It was approximately five inches long.

Light: The cigar lit immediately. First impressions were of stale cigarettes, the acrid smell of a house burning, and plastic. I soldier on bravely.

First third of the cigar: Acrid, rough. Is my neighbors house burning? Has there been an earthquake, and is my neighbors house burning? Oh god! I think my neighbors house is burning! I get up, and check, the neighbors house is fine. The room spins a bit. No earthquake yet. The furniture seems to be fine. The room spins slightly. The cigar settles down and the taste of hay, manure, and burning sofa. The cigar develops a pretty long ash. I soldier on.

Second third of the cigar: The taste of burning house, burning sofa and plastic dissapates...mostly. A sweet taste develops... But this is no ordinary sweet taste, this is the perfume of a crack addled hooker who has serviced multiple partners over a marathon session of dollar bill fueled debauchery and been strangled to death at the end of a long shift by her pimp who found that she has been holding out on him and left to lie for a few days. The sweet taste then mellows slightly into what I can only describe as what you might get had you binged on dark chocolate pudding past the experiation date and then then drank some ipocac.

Last third of the cigar: A bitterness can be tasted. Like grain alcohol made in a bathtub brewed out of beets, or maybe corn, and then set on fire while you are drinking it. The vomit taste becomes more pronounced, or maybe this is the bile at the back of my throat... Steady boy... Only an inch left... Have to nub it to review...

Nub: The room is spinning now, gods... this must be what that poor sap on Alien felt like right before the alien burst through his chest. Did I menton the room was spinning? Oh yeah. The bitterness, burning plastic, burning couch, horse manure and chocolate and ipocac all revisit me... like the vengeful ghosts of everyone who ever died from smoking this abomination. When will it end? The cigar wont go out by itself... One last puff. Hold the phones! Call President Bush! I found out where Saddam has hid the weapons of mass destruction, thompson has them... MUST TELL SOMEONE! Tell my family I love them... The world narrows. I can see death in the corner of my eye. He looks an awful lot like the founder of Thompson... This is the end...


Im not dead?... Its not for lack of trying on Thompsons part... I must tell my brothers in the jungle.


I've carbon copied this post and sent it to Thompson. Any reply will be duly posted here.

Gargle with used toilet water to get the stank out!! BTDT with Thompson Cigars,,,,why should I be the only one who suffers!!!!!

[Cigary]

Gargle with used toilet water to get the stank out!! BTDT with Thompson Cigars,,,why should I be the only one to suffer????

[nozero]

Thanks for the review. You've just provided additional confirmation to my experience with Thompson. Mine was with a bundle of the Paso Doble and horrible customer service.

[FishNSmoke]

Halarious review; sound like they would go nicely with a shroom tea.

[Drazzil]

Okay. Heres the skinny. I maligned Thompson. It didnt come from them, It came from Cigars International, which isint to say that Thompson doesent make cigars that taste, smell and smoke like they were issued from the buttocks of Asmoday. I got a Peterson stick through Cigars Internationals "Brown Bag" sampler that I ordered with another order. My ire has now been directed towards the proper ijiuts.

I have of course e mailed Cigars International the review, and changed references to Thompson to the proper offending fools. I will of course, post the inevitable reply.

Heres another funny thing. Ashton contracted to make this cigar, and it apparently got really high reviews before disappearing entirely.

[mtec]

Goodness, I'm never buying NOR trying anything from Peterson again. I bought a box of 25 Gran Reserva Torpedos from CB and they taste like sh*t. Underfilled, super easy draw, no flavor except a slight bitterness... even at $55/box, they are a rip-off. How did the churchill ever make it on CA top 25?

[Coz77]

Are theses the cigars you're talking about?




I had the robusto this summer and it was quite enjoyable...maybe you got a bad one with sofa and plastic in it

[Marlboro Cigars]

Thanks for the review.