Do Not Try This @ Home!

[txmatt]

I am cross posting this from another forum I am on for those of you that aren't members there. Its a cut/paste job though, so don't read both places unless you want to read it twice

When I first found cigarbid.com one of the things I enjoyed doing was to bid a buck on almost everything, and sometimes two bucks when I was caught up in bidding. I ended up "winning" quite a few questionable cigars. My thoughts were, " its only $1.50 lost even with shipping if they aren't good."

Last night my wife had a, "What's it gonna take?" favor to ask of me and I told her I wanted permission to buy a box of some relatively inexpensive cigars in return. She said no on the grounds that I already have too many cigars and she doesn't like me smoking them at all, let alone knowing I have ~300 of them on hand. I asked what if I dispose of some first? She agreed. Today I took on the task of smoking the many potential dog rockets, all purchased at less than $1/stick to see which ones I wouldn't want to smoke again.

Over my son's 2 hour nap I drank 4 cans of Ginger ale while sampling..... 14 cigars. My tongue is sore, but I now know which cigars need to be disposed of. To prevent my fellow BOTLs from buying some of the worst cigars ever I have quickly reviewed each. My brief summary of each is colored Bold Red and the price I paid including shipping is in green. All of these cigars have been stored @ 65% in my coolidor for ~3 months except for #3. The reviews are in the order I smoked them. I will list the cigars from worst to best at the very bottom.

1) Takoma Corona Blue Box - machine made in Turkey for C.A.O. Was stinky unlight, which was the same in the form of flavor once lit. Although the flavor was not at all pleasant it was suprisingly rich. Mushy construction, fast burn. noticed chemical flavor and a bit of rotten oak. Truly nasty finish. $0.37 This is a dog rocket.
2) Takoma Corona Red Box - Very simlar to blue, lighter wrapper, a milder flavor/smell. Absent was the rotten oak but that was replaced with some metallic notes. $0.37 This is a dog rocket.

3) Burma Petit - this is a dry cured cigar so it does not need to be kept in a humidor. It came wrapped in tissue paper because looking at it nobody would ever buy such an ugly cigar. I felt the need to spit on and wipe clean then end I put in my mouth in hopes of cleaning it a bit. (both ends were open) Upon lighting it the smoke was cool and felt somewhat "chewy" in my mouth. The flavor was unique and had notes of spices to it. It was very mild bodied with moderate flavor. Physically it was firm, it burnt straight and slow. This cigar would be good to keep in your golf bag for emergencies since you don't worry about humidity. Typically I keep foil packed cheroots such as Backwoods in there for that purpose but I believe these may work better. $0.37 This cigar is worth keeping and I might even buy them again.

4) La O' Paree Corna - Flavored by a Parisian's sweaty armpits. This cigar was hard to light and mushy. For the very brief period I could stand to have it light it burnt very poorly. Flavor was acrid, soapy, and metallic. The one tiny bit of good flavor to it was burnt marshmallow. $0.37 This cigar is a biohazard. It should be saved only for use in hand to hand combat.

5) Flor De Filipinas Corona - Tight draw, spice on tongue, uneven burn. Flavor was strongly metallic $0.56
6) Flor De Filipinas Rothschild - Started off better than Corona with better burn and draw, and had a woodsy note. It very quickly turned into a stronger version of Flor de Tin Can like the Corona. $0.70 For both sizes of this cigar I would rather lick a 9 volt battery than smoke another.

7)Cuban Delights - There was nothing delightful about this cigar. I certainly hope it is not Cubanesque. The wrapper was annoyingly fragile and cracked and split constantly. Flavor was slight and insignificant, as was body. There was noticable bitterness. Feel was mushy, burn was poor, draw was acceptable.$0.67 I would pocket and trash or might fake smoking this if given

Don Macho Corona - Very attractive wrapper. Draws like a straw, mushy construction. Flavor was minimal with woodsy/earthy notes and a bit of spice/tingle at the back of the roof of my mouth. $0.76
9) Don Macho Robusto - Same great wrapper, noticably firmer and proper draw. Burn was straight with pleasant aroma and a nice ash. This cigar had a a richer version of the not good/not bad woodsy earthy flavor of the corona size. $0.90 For both sizes of this cigar I would smoke one if gifted if it were necessary to be polite.

10) Regalos Robusto - This was very similar to the Don Macho Robusto. It was a bit uglier to look at, but richer, spicier, and fuller bodied. It was also noticably harsher. $0.98 I would smoke one if gifted to be polite.

11) Regalos Cigarillo - These come in nifty little slide top boxes of 10 about the same size of cigarillo tins. Strangely richer than the robusto size, a bit hotter but not too hot. It was also less harsh. It had added cedary flavor presumably from the box. It burned amazingly well with beautiful symmetric rings in the dark ash. They cigar produced a suprising amount of thick smoke. This would be a decent cigar for ~5-10 puffs or 5 - 10 minutes when you really want a cigar but don't have time for even a PC. $0.25 This cigar is worth keeping and I might even buy them again.

12) Sacuba Corona - The flavor was suprisingly complex although too mild. Faint sweetness and woodsy notes were present. The smoke was slightly creamy and presented a bit of spice on the tip of my tongue. $0.77 I will keep and smoke or even give these away but its too mild for me to purchase again.

13) Don Felo Petit (Felitos) - very mellow and mild with a tiny bit of spice. Rich but one dimensional flavor. Very good burn. $0.25 I will keep and smoke these but would not purchase again.

14) 1 Plus Robusto - The return of.. I reviewed this in early June with the topic title "the fugliest cigar I have ever loved". I must have been hard up for cigars at the time because "like" is the best I could say about it now. It is a very ugly cigar. My opinion of the flavor now is that it is still very smooth, has mild body and medium flavor. It packs a lot of pleasant cedary flavor with a nice finish. It still burns quite sloppily and would have required frequent touchups had I smoked it all. $0.49 This cigar is worth keeping and I might even buy them again.

14) La O'Paree Corona
13) Takoma Corona Blue
12) Takoma Corona Red
11) Flor De Filipinas Corona
10) Flor De Filipinas Robusto
9) Cuban Delights Robusto
Don Macho Corona
7) Regalos Robusto
6) Don Macho Rothschild
5) Don Felo Petit (Felito)
4) Sacuba Corona
3) Regalos Cigarillo
2) 1 Plus Robusto
1) Burma Petit

Hope my suffering proves useful to you.
Matt

[kansashat]

Where's the review on the Bad Frogs?

[txmatt]

I did bid $1 on the Bad Frogs on several audtions as well. Believe it or not they kept selling for significantly more than that. Poor bastards who bought them!

[kansashat]

Not I. They have to be some of the ugliest cigars I've seen.

[Nortonics]

Originally Posted by txmatt

For both sizes of this cigar I would rather lick a 9 volt battery than smoke another.

Hahahahaha, excellent!

[(909)]

txmatt, like a lone scout going into unknown territory, you have saved us all from smoking some of the skanky crap that is rolled and sold as "cigars".

I think we should keep a list of "dog rockets" somewhere on this board so that when we are tempted by cheap prices we are reminded why they are cheap.

I have a one to add to the list of smokes that I took one hit off of and through it in the trash.

El Beso pure dog@#*! (my lips and tongue felt like someone poured a watered down acid in my mouth)

[txmatt]

Woah, someone dug up this one I see..

I have smoked a few more of the remaining "one plus" robustos and they have slid down to the #3 spot -- the little Regalos cigarillos now occupy the #2 spot.

The Sacuba seemed to have more flavor when not preceded by 11 crappy cigars; it wasn't flavorless as I had initially suspected.

What I have noticed since this experience though is that I doubt I will buy such cheap cigars again; even the ones I initially said I might buy again.

I know of many many great cigars I really enjoy for $1.00 to $2.00 a stick at regular prices that I don't need to play cigarbid games on. I would advise people if they are getting a cigar on auction at cigarbid for less than $1 a stick that they won't enjoy the cigars.

Want good smokes for not a lot of cash, try these:

Bolivar Fuerte Petit Bolivar Maduro - $26/24 shipped @ JR

Flor de Oliva - $1.85 each retail, $1.50 each or less by the bundle mail order

Sancho Panza Double Maduro Don Quixote - my recent new goto favorite. $42 shipped for a box of 20 @ JR.

Padron 2000M - $60/25 @ buymorecigars.com - I would rather have 1 of these than a full box of any of the cigars I smoked in the above review.. Under $3/stick anywhere online or $3.50 or less retail, many $6 can't beat these.

-Matt-

[kamikaiguy]

Txman I was barfing just reading your review. You are a true Saint to sacrifice your tastebuds for our sake.

[TheyCallMeManiX]

thanks tx, youve actually given me a couple i want to try now cause they are at such a good price like the 1 plus and the don felo petits for a quicky smoke

[Ms. Floydp]

I say you should send 1 of each to Dave and let him do a taste test...LOL He made everyone else smoke those crappy cigars.

[psygardelic]

BAD ASS POST!!! An Excellent contribution to the wealth of cigar knowledge contained on this board!! Through your trials and intense smoking we now have a rather detailed first hand account of job not many would care to take on. Sorting through dog rockets... Excellent thread and thanks for sharing!

[cbw2647]

When a wife asks, "What's it gonna take?", there's only one answer,,,,,oral,,,,

you can always buy cigars

[punch]

Originally Posted by cbw2647

When a wife asks, "What's it gonna take?", there's only one answer,,,,,oral,,,,

you can always buy cigars

Agree with the above! Of course, that is why nothing ever gets done around the house . . .

Anyway, good review of these dogrockets. After reading the review, I actually ENJOYED an El Perfecto.

[cigar no baka]

Thanks for the warnings. This only reinforces my habit of buying cigars primarily from my B&M. If I hear about something that might appeal to me that they do not carry, only after some careful research will I buy some over the internet. I'm a cheap bastid and I hate wasting my money! Plus I vomit easily

[horrorview]

HAHAH! Great reviews! I especially like the "keep for sake of armed combat" brand!