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Random Rant Thread

This is a discussion on Random Rant Thread within the The Official Puff Pipers Non-Pipe Related Banter Forum forums, part of the Pipe Smokers Forums category; Originally Posted by Sherlocke What if you use it to repair a divot? Great. The ball rolls onto the wad ...

  
  1. #151

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sherlocke View Post
    What if you use it to repair a divot?
    Great. The ball rolls onto the wad of gum, which sticks to the ball and now you're not only in a divot, but you have a wad of gum behind the ball. Before, a good shot might have scraped up onto the front edge, but now you're lucky to move it 50 yards. To answer your question, especially if you use it to repair a divot. If you were really going to fill a divot, that implies you were chewing 40 or 50 sticks of gum at the same time, which is an indication that you're engaging in golfing terrorist activity as opposed to being merely inconsiderate.)
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  2. #152

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader MarkC's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    How about if you just use it to throw off the weight on one of the windmill blades?
    ********.com

  3. #153

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by MarkC View Post
    How about if you just use it to throw off the weight on one of the windmill blades?
    It actually helps in that case, because there's an asynchronous pause in the rotation that gives you a much better chance of getting the ball into the clown's mouth for a free replay. Put all the gum you want on the windmill blades.

    As I look across the street, there they are -- the topless garbage cans. In my 27 years at this address, I have never once lost a garbage can lid. Have I had to walk down the street to find it when the wind was blowing? Yes, and have found them in bushes, along the road and in people's yards, but it's never been like a quest for the Holy Grail or anything. I mean, how hard can it be to find a garbage can lid? Those people are LAZY!! Without the tops (never mind that they produce entirely too much garbage!! ), the crows get in there and tear open the bags. The prevailing wind now deposits food wrappers, tissues and all manner of wind blown plastic and paper detritus into my yard that I have to pick up. When the garbage truck has taken away their crap, there's always a pile of spilled trash around the cans. Do they pick it up? Hell no, they just leave it there until the wind blows it into street and into other people's yards. LAZY SLOBS!
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  4. #154

    Old Man Nachman's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    It actually helps in that case, because there's an asynchronous pause in the rotation that gives you a much better chance of getting the ball into the clown's mouth for a free replay. Put all the gum you want on the windmill blades.

    As I look across the street, there they are -- the topless garbage cans. In my 27 years at this address, I have never once lost a garbage can lid. Have I had to walk down the street to find it when the wind was blowing? Yes, and have found them in bushes, along the road and in people's yards, but it's never been like a quest for the Holy Grail or anything. I mean, how hard can it be to find a garbage can lid? Those people are LAZY!! Without the tops (never mind that they produce entirely too much garbage!! ), the crows get in there and tear open the bags. The prevailing wind now deposits food wrappers, tissues and all manner of wind blown plastic and paper detritus into my yard that I have to pick up. When the garbage truck has taken away their crap, there's always a pile of spilled trash around the cans. Do they pick it up? Hell no, they just leave it there until the wind blows it into street and into other people's yards. LAZY SLOBS!
    Wow, I thought everyone used wheelie bins nowadays. They started in England in the seventies and now have been adopted (I thought) by all but third world countries. It solves the problems of lost lids, scavengers etc, and cuts down on labour and is more sanitary. (Not calling Rome NY a third world country.8<) Perhaps the unions there have fought the bins to preserve jobs. You can collect refuse with about one third as many men using wheelies and automated lift/dump trucks. Do they still read meters manually there for utilities?
    Those that know don't tell, and those that tell don't know.

  5. #155

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nachman View Post
    Wow, I thought everyone used wheelie bins nowadays. They started in England in the seventies and now have been adopted (I thought) by all but third world countries. It solves the problems of lost lids, scavengers etc, and cuts down on labour and is more sanitary. (Not calling Rome NY a third world country.8<) Perhaps the unions there have fought the bins to preserve jobs. You can collect refuse with about one third as many men using wheelies and automated lift/dump trucks. Do they still read meters manually there for utilities?
    No, there's no more meter reading, but the garbage collection here is out of the city limits. I haven't noticed, but maybe Rome does use the wheelies? Nah. Out here it's pure private enterprise, family owned garbage collection services, ie, you have to pay for it. Oriskany definitely does not use the wheelies either, but it's a tiny village.

    But it reminds me of a funny story! Back in the 80s, a woman from India who lived in Canada came down to give us training on a GIS system we had purchased from the company she worked for. She took the train. The train station in Rome was simply unbelievable. A few years back, they renovated it a bit so it isn't quite such a disaster now, but back then it was terrible! Her comment? "The train station here in Rome is like one you would find in a third world country." Rome is generally 20 or 30 years behind the power curve on practically any aspect of modern life. About ten years ago they built a giant high school at the base which would have been retro had they built it in the '50s. Massively energy inefficient, idiotically laid out, located in a ridiculous place outside of town to maximize bussing expenses, and ugly enough to stunt the aesthetic sensitivities of any student attending. Naturally, they were able to spend at least 5 times as much as they should have building it, didn't need it in the first place, and managed to build it in violation of a state law requiring new schools to be at least 5 miles from an airport runway. (At least I'm on the right thread, huh!? )
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  6. #156

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    I just heard it again, drifting in from the TV in the living room. I have no idea what the product is, even though I've seen the commercial perhaps a dozen times. All I hear is this -- song. Buffy Sainte-Marie-like, but of an unknown genre, perhaps part of an entirely new type of music, even more absent of musical innovation than folk. The tune is annoyingly high volume, belted out with lyrics something like, "We are mashed potatoes, mumble 'em up like a runaway train..." Everybody knew what Alka Seltzer was -- "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is," but who would sign off on a commercial containing a jingle whose lyrics reveal not a single word that makes any sense whatsoever? There are two year old children who can understand "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz." (Plus, I can't stand listening to anything that Buffy Saint-Marie ever sang. Not a single thing.) I can only wonder what part of the audience understands the words in this commercial's song -- and what makes it possible for them to do so. The song worries me when I hear it; so insistent, so loud, so forceful, I feel like I SHOULD know what she is singing about, but the song is awful and possessed of such impervious lyrics that I panic and start to tune it out immediately, even going so far as to hit the pause button so that I don't have to suffer through it. I hated plop plop fizz fizz too, but in a different way. I wasn't afraid of Speedy. The woman who sings this song scares me with her voice like chainsaw at high rev, with her earnest praises of whatever it is she feels so strongly about. The ad gives me free-floating anxiety.
    Last edited by freestoke; 02-23-2012 at 11:12 AM.
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  7. #157

    CRT #1984, CRA #99974873 szyzk's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Not going to rant; in fact quite the opposite. Your posts are gold, Jim! Gold!
    Never trust anyone over 30.


  8. #158

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by szyzk View Post
    Not going to rant; in fact quite the opposite. Your posts are gold, Jim! Gold!
    Glad you liked it, Andrew. What good's a if nobody hears it!?
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  9. #159

    CRT #1984, CRA #99974873 szyzk's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    Glad you liked it, Andrew. What good's a if nobody hears it!?
    I would like to see them published... Or at least we could start a web blog for you!
    Never trust anyone over 30.


  10. #160

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Over the years, I've received a measure of grief about declaring that cane sugar sweetened soda pop tastes better than HFC sweetened soda pop. People either don't remember or have never tasted ol' timey Pepsi, Royal Crown Cola or Coca Cola (the old "big three"), so naturally their opinion prevails. Ignorance often creates confident points of view. A few even have accused me of pandering to the health nut crowd, but my objection to "American soda pop" has little to do with diabetes or obesity, since I have neither problem. (While I think the American diet is stomach-turningly bad, other people's eating habits don't concern me much, except their bad taste insidiously undermining the standard fare in restaurants and food quality at the grocery stores -- as in HFC soda pop.) My consternation has always centered around the flavor and "texture" of American soft drinks. I stand as something of an expert here, since my natural father, who died when I was seven, was a bottler; he had the Dr. Pepper franchise in Newport News and bottled Grapette, Brownie, Pal, Nehi and Suncrest in addition to Dr. Pepper. We were always well stocked! Unlike today's kids, we spent all day long swimming, riding bicycles, playing ball and such, so we needed the calories! We were skinny as hell despite downing ten bottles a day. (Of course, our teeth rotted right out of our heads, but...) I have been laughed at for years about this, but I know whereof I speak -- HFC soda pop doesn't taste the same or FEEL the same! I quit drinking soda pop almost in toto in the early 80s, complaining that it didn't taste right to me anymore, but worse, it had a cloying, nasty FEEL to it and no longer quenched my thirst. I pity those who have never had a real Coca Cola (or, even better back then, Royal Crown Cola). Even worse for those unfortunates who have never experienced a real Dr. Pepper.

    My rant today is against the ruthless, usurious Goths who run the soft drink industry, sacrificing the happiness of American children for unconscionable profit levels, children who would otherwise be enjoying a decent soda pop. So much rage over Wall Street and the financial industry and so little directed at the CEOs of the major bottlers who also deserve jail time! Where are the laws demanding pure cane sugar in our soda pop!?

    Coca-Cola Taste Test: High Fructose Corn Syrup vs. Sugar

    And that's just with 70% cane sugar! The difference is even greater with ALL cane sugar, believe me!
    Last edited by freestoke; 03-08-2012 at 09:44 AM.
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  11. #161

    T-Squared TommyTree's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Jim, in my area, we have what is generally referred to as "Mexican Coke." It's a beautifully delicious drink with real cane sugar and, as you so correctly observed, flavor that makes the American version taste like cherry NiQuil. Honestly, the only thing American Coke is good for is as a mixer for Jack Daniels. The other soft drinks aren't even worth that.

    (Also, the glass bottle makes a huge difference, if you can get them.)
    Enabler, Philosopher and Resident Imbiber

  12. #162

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TommyTree View Post
    Jim, in my area, we have what is generally referred to as "Mexican Coke." It's a beautifully delicious drink with real cane sugar and, as you so correctly observed, flavor that makes the American version taste like cherry NiQuil. Honestly, the only thing American Coke is good for is as a mixer for Jack Daniels. The other soft drinks aren't even worth that.

    (Also, the glass bottle makes a huge difference, if you can get them.)
    I'll have to look for it around here, but we're probably too far north. I will note in passing that Dr. Pepper died in the 1980s and exists now in name only for most of the US. For those who live in Texas, where Dr. Pepper came into being, Dublin Dr. Pepper still bottles the old stuff. You can also get it in North Carolina!

    A handful of U.S. bottling plants still use sugar to sweeten Dr Pepper. The Dr Pepper bottling plant in Dublin, Texas produces such a beverage, known as Dublin Dr Pepper. In the 1980s, plant owner W.P. "Bill" Kloster (June 7, 1918 – September 27, 1999) refused to convert the plant to high fructose corn syrup.[24] Since 2003, Dublin Dr Pepper has expanded its distribution to most of Texas and the Internet. Other bottlers still using sugar include Temple Bottling Company, in Temple, Texas, Ab-Tex in Abilene, and West Jefferson Dr Pepper (WJDP) of West Jefferson, NC.


    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  13. #163

    CRT #1984, CRA #99974873 szyzk's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Jim - you and I, buddy, we're like two peas in a pod. Check your local Walmart. For about a year mine carried MexiCoke, the 100% real no-foolin' sugar, for about 99 cents a glass bottle and it was the best year of my life.

    Okay, that's an exaggeration, but access to that glorious nectar of the Gods certainly didn't hurt!

    Then, without warning (which I should have filed a lawsuit over) they pulled it from the shelves. Certainly not because it wasn't selling, because I was regularly buying everything they put out for sale. Incidentally, not long after they disappeared my Big Lots received a big shipment, and that kept me running for another 4 months or so.

    Here's what I find so interesting: if I have one real sugar soda for lunch I don't feel the need for any other soda during the day. When I was drinking the fructochloride- carbodecahedron-methyl disulfide-sodiumsodiumsodium abominations they went to after ditching normal sugar, I could (not that I would) drink can after can and never feel satisfied.
    Never trust anyone over 30.


  14. #164

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by szyzk View Post
    Jim - you and I, buddy, we're like two peas in a pod. Check your local Walmart. For about a year mine carried MexiCoke, the 100% real no-foolin' sugar, for about 99 cents a glass bottle and it was the best year of my life.
    Will do, Andrew! Muchas gracias!
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  15. #165

    Full grown Puffer Fish Thirston's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by szyzk View Post
    Here's what I find so interesting: if I have one real sugar soda for lunch I don't feel the need for any other soda during the day. When I was drinking the fructochloride- carbodecahedron-methyl disulfide-sodiumsodiumsodium abominations they went to after ditching normal sugar, I could (not that I would) drink can after can and never feel satisfied.
    I've heard this a few times before from random people and experienced it myself recently. Fake syrups are not only cheaper than sugar, but
    supply more demand, mmm. -Try and grab mexi when I can.

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