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Random Rant Thread

This is a discussion on Random Rant Thread within the The Official Puff Pipers Non-Pipe Related Banter Forum forums, part of the Pipe Smokers Forums category; Originally Posted by freestoke I'm not sure how to take that. If you care to learn how to stay out ...

  
  1. #241

    Dosidicus Pipa Desertlifter's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    I'm not sure how to take that. If you care to learn how to stay out of people's line (both in front of and behind -- it's in the rule book, but that doesn't matter to anybody either), tend on the correct side of the flagstick, not take practice divots out of the fairway or tee, hold still and shut up while other people are hitting, be ready to play when it's your turn, then you wouldn't bother me a bit.......


    Well done, sir - from a duffer who loves his game more than his handicap.
    Pro Patria Vigilans................... My tobacco cellar

  2. #242

    Youngish old man Beebo's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    it's in the rule book It's "unmanly" and "sissy" and "putty buttish" to worry about such things, after all, since "real athletes", say football players, do everything possible to disturb their opponents. Any incidental botheration you cause by simply being oblivious and not making any effort whatsoever to play golf "as it should be played" is "no fun". Courtesy to the opponent is all but verboten in most sports, but the tradition of golf is that it's a "gentleman's game". For me, the simple courtesies of the game are like not playing your boombox in the library or avoiding running bicyclers off the road, but we have plenty of people who feel they have the right to listen to music when and where they please and that bicyclers all deserve anything bad that happens to them. If they're trying to shoot a good score, it's just not your problem, you can behave any way you like on the course, and it's not your course, so tearing it up doesn't really matter to you.
    Ok, so to give a little "Legend" to my creative editing of the above quote, The Italic parts are basic examples of my point. The bold parts are words/general terms that I find Americans today have no concept of. it's gonna be a long one, and so I'll understand if you guys don't read it.
    It has been years since I was on a golf course. I find I have no like of the game as I am completely, and totally useless at it. That being said, I do understand the basic rules of the game, and when/if I ever go back onto a golf course I will do my best to follow them. Now that being said I am acquainted with quite a few... ... shall we say... ... ahhhh screw the political correctness. I am acquainted with quite a few red neck hillbilly types that "love" the game of golf,(having watched them on the course a time or two from the safety of the golf cart I am convinced they are really playing what you call "Pasture field hockey") and play it every time they get a chance. These guys are the worst of what I call the "entitlement douche" class of society. I call them this for two reasons, which I can use the above examples to illustrate. Firstly these are the type of guys that think of themselves as "real golfers" they think that a "golfer" is someone that could take a perfect stroke even if you were playing a tuba, and tap dancing on their scrotum while someone is standing right behind them trying to conga. They have no concept of the rules of golf, and (in their POV) seeing as how they paid to play their round of golf they get to do whatever they wish to do on the course. It is this type of people in general(entitlement douches as I call them), that I find to be the cause of the problem. They are teaching their children, both from practical example, and from their actual (so-called) parenting that if they pay for something, in this instance a round of golf, they have bought the right to do whatever they wish to do, mindless of rules, because they "paid for it". I also find that these people have the above bold words lacking from their vocabulary. To this type of folks it seems that they believe they ARE being courteous since they are gracing you with their presence on the course. To them Simple courtesies consist of them "letting" you play on the same course as them without them spitting on you. These folks think that being a gentleman means you are some kind of homosexual, and that gentlemanly behavior should be avoided at all costs, because it will draw the gay to you. As for the tearing up the course they have a excuse for that as well. I see examples of that excuse everywhere, these entitlement douches say "aww no man that's ok. you see there is a guy here that will fix anything that I break. So if I tear up stuff, I'm like giving that guy a job." nevermind the basic human tenant of "Do unto others" they paid for their time on the course, or their stint at the local buffet, and if they mess stuff up it is a good thing. What the hell is wrong with these people? The Rulebook to them is "Made to be broken, Bro". I believe we should all start holding classes to define these crazy new words for these people like Courtesy, Gentleman, Rules. they should also be made to understand that A: somethings don't revolve around their "image". and B: Maybe that guy that fixes all that stuff they break has access to everything needed to make their dumbasses disappear in the worst way when he gets tired of fixing stuff they broke needlessly.
    I tell you sometimes I really wish the zombie apocalypse would hurry up and arrive, so that we civilized, normal, human beings could, you know, "let loose" a little and maybe eradicate a bit of the entitlement douche infestation. Anyway, I suppose the point of my "sub-rant" is that I feel your pain. Even though I am not really a golf player, I understand exactly the type of behavior you are referring to. So now that I am done stealing this particular rant, and going pretty far to convincing you that I'm completely bonzo, I think I'll be quiet for a bit. or maybe try some classic subject redirection. How bout that Tiger Woods, trying to make himself a comeback...

  3. #243

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by szyzk View Post
    I was ribbing you! I'm far from discourteous and I realize that golf isn't full-contact, but that doesn't detract from the years and years of baseball playing that invade my golf game.
    I was busy
    I think most players with so-so games feel that better players wouldn't want to play with them because they play relatively poorly. In general, that isn't the case, and certainly not the case with me. Just because a person has a mediocre game, it doesn't mean he has to to ignore the simple things that make the game pleasant and keep the course "intact". I would rather see you play well -- play better than I do, actually! -- but your strokes don't add to my score, so it doesn't much matter to me where you hit it, just hit it quick and don't step on my line. (A total beginner can be tedious, but then a total beginner doesn't belong on a real golf course yet -- a rant for the future! )

    I don't even care if you toss a club or two, as long as you throw them forward down the fairway not backwards (slows things down) or sideways (dangerous). Golf attire? Don't care, as long as you don't wear hiking boots and destroy the greens. (I'd rather not look at a hairy back through a body shirt, but that's not as bad as spitting on the green ala Tiger Woods.)

    In short, I'm a publinxer, not a froo-froo course habitue. I wear jeans when it's cold, shorts when it's hot. I'd even wear a t-shirt, but I won't even mow my lawn in a t-shirt. I'd even go so far as to say that I prefer a goat lot, where I can walk, over a perfectly manicured one designed for golf carts. I pretty much refuse to play a course that requires carts. That doesn't include scrambles, though, where a cart is pretty much necessary to keep up with the field. I'll drink beer on the course if somebody has some and drink a LOT of beer on the course in a scramble. I love a side game for a few bucks and love "the needle" and oneupsmanship with my friends. I'm not a "serious" golfer in the sense of being "all business", but in that 10 second time frame when I'm hitting the ball (I take no practice swings 95% of the time, so you really don't have to suffer very long), I'd rather you didn't talk or take practice swings or stand directly behind me or rattle the change in your pocket or the clubs in your bag. If I shank it, feel free to poke some fun at me, I only get angry with myself or people hitting into me. I suffer in silence when I'm playing with a rube, try to be polite and avoid playing with him in the future -- unless he's funny, when I just try to ignore it, in the spirit of "Forgive them for they know not what they do." I will actually try to light a candle for somebody under the age of 25 or so, or new to the game, but I hardly ever complain out loud about anything anybody does, even when it totally screws me up. And I'd MUCH rather you smoked, okay!? Anything you want, actually.
    Last edited by freestoke; 05-08-2012 at 10:15 AM.
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  4. #244

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Beebo View Post
    Now that being said I am acquainted with quite a few... ... shall we say... ... ahhhh screw the political correctness. I am acquainted with quite a few red neck hillbilly types that "love" the game of golf,(having watched them on the course a time or two from the safety of the golf cart I am convinced they are really playing what you call "Pasture field hockey") and play it every time they get a chance. These guys are the worst of what I call the "entitlement douche" class of society. ...I understand exactly the type of behavior you are referring to. So now that I am done stealing this particular rant, and going pretty far to convincing you that I'm completely bonzo, I think I'll be quiet for a bit. or maybe try some classic subject redirection. How bout that Tiger Woods, trying to make himself a comeback...
    At least I haven't seen him spitting on the greens lately. That grosses me out. A little spitting on the fairway, sure, but not around the green, okay? I found my ball sitting on a hocker on the green once. Disgusting. At least hock it over in the second cut.

    We have those guys in abundance around here. They're "goodfellas" as opposed to "good ol' boys". Same thing though. I'll see your redneck and raise you a New Yorker.
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  5. #245

    CRT #1984, CRA #99974873 szyzk's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    (Martin played piano on quite a few of their hits, BTW, Lady Madonna for instance, providing about 75% of the punch that that tune delivers. Talk about the Fifth Beatle! sheesh. Look no further.)
    I'll give you that, but only as long as Billy Preston is recognized as the sixth Beatle. He added as much to their last catalog entries as any of the Fab Four.

    All this talk has made me put on Let It Be... Naked. Great album!

    Edit: Is "put on" even applicable anymore when talking about playing an album? In most instances I'm not really putting anything on the turntable.

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    I think most players with so-so games feel that better players wouldn't want to play with them because they play relatively poorly. In general, that isn't the case, and certainly not the case with me.
    I guarantee that your attitude would change if we shared a game. Despite my being very aware of the golfers around me, despite my being very aware of how one should treat the "lawn" and despite my being very aware that I take the game less seriously than whomever I'm golfing with (and, therefore, I make sure I'm not slowing everyone down - like I've seen other noobs do), I'll still piss you off. Or at least frustrate you so much that you'll need to run home to refill your blood pressure prescription.

    See those people way, way, way up there? They're already on the green, and we're still on the tee 430 yards away? And do you remember my last 55 shots and how terrible they were? And did you just tell me "Go ahead and take your shot, they're far enough from us that you won't interfere"? Yeah, about that: I'm guaranteed to hit one of those people with an unbelievably incredible shot, and it'll embarrass the hell out of you.

    Or: Speaking of my drives, you know how they've been so terrible all day? (By the way, I'd sure appreciate help in tracking down the entire pack of balls I just shot into the woods over there.) Do you remember how it looks like I have no business being anywhere outside of a putt-putt course? Then how do you explain my repeatedly incredible 100 yard chips to the pin? Is it frustrating you yet?

    Or wait... I can't drive or chip today? Fine, I'll make consecutive 80 foot putts, inexplicably making my short game look like that of the best. I guarantee your blood would be boiling because I'll be inept at 95% of my game, but that last 5% will convince you that I'm some sort of an idiot savant. And I'll look terrible doing it, which will make it worse for you!

    Even the Dalai Lama would want to break a club over my noggin - and by the fourth hole, I'd bet. He'd say "Gunga galunga... Gunga, gunga-lagunga" and just whack me over the head.

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    And I'd MUCH rather you smoked, okay!? Anything you want, actually.
    Woohoo!
    Never trust anyone over 30.


  6. #246

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by szyzk View Post
    I'll give you that, but only as long as Billy Preston is recognized as the sixth Beatle. He added as much to their last catalog entries as any of the Fab Four.
    Deal. I get Martin and you get Preston!
    Or wait... I can't drive or chip today? Fine, I'll make consecutive 80 foot putts, inexplicably making my short game look like that of the best. I guarantee your blood would be boiling because I'll be inept at 95% of my game, but that last 5% will convince you that I'm some sort of an idiot savant. And I'll look terrible doing it, which will make it worse for you!

    Even the Dalai Lama would want to break a club over my noggin - and by the fourth hole, I'd bet. He'd say "Gunga galunga... Gunga, gunga-lagunga" and just whack me over the head.
    I want you on my scramble team!!
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  7. #247

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Not a rant, exactly, more an observation about why I (and perhaps a few others) tend to rant about cellphones. I think it's the disjoint nature of what's going on when I see somebody on a phone in the aisle of a grocery store. With the hands-free earphones, it gets creepy. At my age, a lot of habits are engrained, one of them being that I react to people talking to themselves in public with some caution. Is this person nuts? Drugged out? Praying? Last on the list of possibilities is that they are actually talking to somebody, especially if I can't see the phone hanging on their ear or don't notice it because they are simultaneously handling a jar and reading the ingredients with the other hand. At some level, I find it unsettling. And even after knowing what's happening, normal social intercourse is unavailable: I can't say hello without interrupting, never mind asking them if brand X is any good. They aren't really there anymore, in a sense, especially when their attention could literally be a continent away. That, and I've always hated talking on the phone, period. How anybody can spend hours on end babbling away on a telephone totally escapes me. People who want to do that give me reason enough to despise them.
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  8. #248

    The Karate Squid Aninjaforallseasons's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Here's a rant:

    Kids are so cute.

    Except for when you were out until 1am at a bachelor party, and have to wake up at 6am, and your four year-old yells out "DADDY, YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER. SO TODAY IS THE NEXT DAY OF SUMMER. ISN'T THAT COOL?" at 5am, and then asks if it's time to wake up yet.

    Well... I'm up either way now...
    On Instagram as @stogieninja || Reviewer for Blind Man's Puff
    Check out cigarlopedia.com - the most comprehensive cigar database ever created!

  9. #249

    Sot-weed Bohemian freestoke's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Aninjaforallseasons View Post
    Here's a rant:

    Kids are so cute.

    Except for when you were out until 1am at a bachelor party, and have to wake up at 6am, and your four year-old yells out "DADDY, YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER. SO TODAY IS THE NEXT DAY OF SUMMER. ISN'T THAT COOL?" at 5am, and then asks if it's time to wake up yet.

    Well... I'm up either way now...
    A friend (who is very "Irish") has a couple of sons. He found it astonishing that teenage boys ever reach adulthood without their fathers (or somebody else they happened to infuriate) killing them first. So...I don't have any kids, but judging from that, you have a LOT to look forward to, Derek!
    Vegetarian -- that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". -- Andy Rooney

  10. #250

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader MarkC's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by freestoke View Post
    Not a rant, exactly, more an observation about why I (and perhaps a few others) tend to rant about cellphones. I think it's the disjoint nature of what's going on when I see somebody on a phone in the aisle of a grocery store. With the hands-free earphones, it gets creepy. At my age, a lot of habits are engrained, one of them being that I react to people talking to themselves in public with some caution. Is this person nuts? Drugged out? Praying? Last on the list of possibilities is that they are actually talking to somebody, especially if I can't see the phone hanging on their ear or don't notice it because they are simultaneously handling a jar and reading the ingredients with the other hand. At some level, I find it unsettling. And even after knowing what's happening, normal social intercourse is unavailable: I can't say hello without interrupting, never mind asking them if brand X is any good. They aren't really there anymore, in a sense, especially when their attention could literally be a continent away. That, and I've always hated talking on the phone, period. How anybody can spend hours on end babbling away on a telephone totally escapes me. People who want to do that give me reason enough to despise them.
    I figure that people who are constantly on their phone just can't stand to be alone with themselves. With that recommendation, I don't want to be around them either.
    ********.com

  11. #251

    Puffer Fish with many spikes Hambone1's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Okay, here is my rant. Kimber .45 Stainless II gun. What a !@#$!@#$ pain the the arse to break down and clean. That stupid wrench they give you to turn the spring lock and then having to guard from launching the spring cap! I have 27 weapons and this is by far the biggest pain to reassemble! I love to fire the weapon but I dread cleaning it. I just cleaned my Beretta 92 FS and it is by far the easiest weapon to clean and I love to fire that weapon as well. I have 4 Beretta weapons and they are the easiest to clean. I compare my Beretta handguns to driving a luxury car and my Colts to driving a Ugo!

    Anyway, don't know if this rant is applicable but I just had to get that off my chest. Clean a Kimber sucks (only have the one Kimber)!
    Puffers will push you down the slippery slope of PAD/TAD! Get out while you can!

  12. #252

    Youngish old man Beebo's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Hambone1 View Post
    That stupid wrench they give you to turn the spring lock and then having to guard from launching the spring cap! I have 4 Beretta weapons and they are the easiest to clean. I compare my Beretta handguns to driving a luxury car and my Colts to driving a Ugo!
    Anyway, don't know if this rant is applicable but I just had to get that off my chest. Clean a Kimber sucks (only have the one Kimber)!
    For me I find it's easier if I don't use the wrench. Never have with 1911's I think it was training, My training officer always made us field strip them hand & rag so maybe I guess I just got used to doing it without the wrench. I like Beretta's as well, although I tend to prefer the 1911's myself. Don't get me wrong I love my Beretta 96, but but for some reason I just prefer 1911's. I am especially partial to bare-bones GI style M1911-A1's. Don't show me a LLama 1911 though. I will poke you in the eye with it. Had one given to me, Worst gun I ever owned, but that's a looooong long story.

  13. #253

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader MarkC's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    I'm not that into guns, but I make it a point never to buy anything named after an animal whose main weapon is spitting...
    ********.com

  14. #254

    Nee "Tashaz" Mante's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by MarkC View Post
    I'm not that into guns, but I make it a point never to buy anything named after an animal whose main weapon is spitting...
    Puff has a whole group of those armed with spitting it seems...Llamas or some such I hear.
    Refuses to remain the Droid they were all looking for.

  15. #255

    Pipe Smokin' Piranha DSturg369's Avatar


     

    Re: Random Rant Thread

    I don't play golf, and I'm not really sure why. I played a few times in my youth, and enjoyed it well enough I suppose, but just never really got into it. Nowadays, I don't watch or enjoy "ball sports"... Football, baseball, basketball, soccer, nor hockey or any of the arena type games. I contribute this to the $$$ and the cry-babying that accompanies it from today's players. I'm more of the outdoors man, enjoying hunting, fishing, shooting, archery, camping, and those sort of things. Sitting around a campfire with a good cigar or a bowl of choice tobacco after a day in the wild is just something magical to me. Without such things, a man can forget what he is and where he comes from. Wild places liberate the soul and keep the fires of sanity kindled.
    Dale

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