On Sunday, the 28th of June 1914 at approximately 10:45am, a lone gunman by the name of Gavrilo Princip assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, and effectively began the First Great War. Now, a little over 98 years later another infamous shot has been fired.
Last night, in the city of Spokane, Washington, I left my house to go collect the day’s mail. As I crossed the empty and dimly lit street, and neared my mailbox I was filled with apprehension. My intelligence sourced had confirmed an expected attack on my defenses by the notorious bomber known as “Freestoke,” and as I inched closer and closer to my mailbox, a strong floral aroma suddenly overpowered me. What could it be?? A biological/chemical attack??
I quickly donned some protective gear and cautiously opened my mailbox to find an envelope addressed to my. I then summoned the bomb squad and they confirmed that I had been indeed a victim of that famed “Freestoke.”
Inside the envelope was a mighty fine sample of the famed “Ennerdale Flake” which I had recently expressed some interest in trying.
I want to assure all of you that this attack will NOT go unpunished. As we speak, my forces are preparing to launch a massive counter attack. In short, let it always be remembered that on this day, the first shot of what will come to be known as the “Diogenes Club War” was fired.
P.S. Thank you so much Jim, you are a true BOTL.