You turn around one day and say, "Oh my God! Honey, where'd my ass go? I have lost my ass!" and she'll say, "Stupid, It's right there under your belt buckle! It's been right there all the time it just shifted around to the front."
You: "Honey, my hips, knees, and back really hurt!"
Your Spouse: "Well, what'd you do?"
You: "Woke up."