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Family member took money......FML

This is a discussion on Family member took money......FML within the Puff Banter forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; Well look at it this way... I know it's not my brother, & it's easy for me to say because ...

  
  1. #16

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader fuente~fuente's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Well look at it this way... I know it's not my brother, & it's easy for me to say because I'm not in your shoes right now, but... He obviously didn't give a $h!te about you & wasn't thinking about your well being, so why should you care about his, as far as pressing charges goes. I know you care about him & don't want to do it, but he has to learn there are consequences for doing what he's doing, for living the way he's living, & treating his loved ones the way he's treating them.

    Sorry to hear it Jason... Hope it turns out for the best.
    Twitter @ OB1theStogie
    Coming at you from the Dirty Dirty...

  2. #17

    No longer a community member.


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Jason
    As you can see there is wisdom amongst the normal horseplay, this is serious as only you know, Do it Bro and we will be here for you!! for the down times as there will be. It's hard to believe you are doing him a favor, I know it feels like betrayal but Bro it isn't, and yes I have had to do this as I posted earlier. It was hard it is still hard BUT I do not regret it as she is at least on the road to recovery, time will only tell if she is going to make it but even she has told me Jail was the first time she got serious about recovery.

    Best wishes Bro and if ya need to talk PM for phone number, This is something I do know about!

    Dave

  3. #18

    Full grown Puffer Fish Wild 7EVEN's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Quote Originally Posted by smelvis View Post
    I hate to say this Jason, My niece is a addicted meth head and though she may be on the right path now?

    Anyway tough love and hitting bottom is maybe I say maybe what he needs. Often times not making them pay the piper is enabling then, I would look (as hard as it is) into pressing charges and make him pay.

    I say this not out of being a hard ass but as someone who KNOWS firsthand that hitting botton is their only hope for help. I had to hit bottom myself!!!

    Sorry for you having to deal with it but please concider what I say for you and his sake!

    Dave
    I agree with Dave completely, and he said pretty much what I was going to.

    In my own experience people usually have to become desperate to accept help for this type of problem. And I know if I had been able to live at home and rip off my family with no consequences then I wouldn't be here today.

  4. #19

    Conservative Stud BigKev77's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    I know what you mean being torn because it is family. I have a cousin who has stolen from just about all of his family. I finally decided he wasn't torn about stealing from me so why should I be torn about turning him in. I hate this for you. It is a hard situation to be in.
    "I was gonna yell FORE, but I was too busy mumbling "No way that's gonna hit him"

  5. #20

    Full grown Puffer Fish bhxhhcz's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    File a police report, call the credit card company and report it as fraud. They will need the police report to "write it off". They will clear up your "debt" problem, and let the credit card company press charges.

    Next time you see the guy, tell him you love him, and that it kills you to have to do it, but give him a good ole' "Chuck Norris" round house kick to the face.

  6. #21

    anywhere but here


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Oh man. That is terrible. It's such a difficult situation when you are dealing with family. Hang in there.

  7. #22

    Maturing Puffer Fish Tubesaddict's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    I'm sorry you were violated by someone close to you.

    Here is my Blood is blood, nothing more. Family is how you are loved, respected, and treated by someone else. Family may not even be related, but relatives aren't always family.

    Go to the police, press charges. Some may see you as the bad guy for doing this, "He has a problem" "It's not his fault" "He needs help", it doesn't matter. You were wronged. You are taking the steps to get back what is yours. If they give you any guff, just tell them this is his first step, accepting responsibility.

    Again, sorry for your loss.

  8. #23

    The Smoky Dawn Front KetherInMalkuth's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    My sister was on meth and my wife's ex-husband was on a number of things. IMHO, trying to protect them because they are your "flesh and blood" will not help matters, if they aren't forced into making a change, they won't. Shielding them from the consequences of thier addiction will only enable them to continue destroying their mind, life, and body. Besides that, you sometimes need a police report to resolve these things with the various creditors, so you'd have to report it to the authorities to get that as well.

    I've been in similar situations, and I just had to bite the bullet and give some tough love. It sucks, but you're doing them no favor to let it go.
    Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves. ~ Ronald Reagan

  9. #24

    Maturing Puffer Fish Fibo's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Quote Originally Posted by smelvis View Post

    Tough love and hitting bottom is maybe, I say maybe, what he needs. Often times not making them pay the piper is enabling then, I would look (as hard as it is) into pressing charges and make him pay.

    I say this not out of being a hard ass but as someone who KNOWS firsthand that hitting botton is their only hope for help. I had to hit bottom myself!!!

    Dave
    I agree with Dave. You'll probably never see the money again, but press charges for his own good. Maybe it will help him hit bottom. He won't get any help till he suffers enough consequences. I also speak from experience.

  10. #25

    Alpha Puffer Fish


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    My brother did something very close, just not as much money. He was in HS and I knew he was just starting to get into some heavy drugs. My parents had a blank check book of mine to pay bills for me that may have come up as I was gone for a looong time - it was the push into Afghanistan right after 9/11. I gave hime seven days to pay me back, start and complete counseling for the drugs. I offered to pay half of the rehab.

    This sucks.
    Soccer players do it for 90 minutes.

  11. #26

    Evolving Lead Puffer Fish CopGTP's Avatar


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Wow, thanks for all the support guys! I'm really in between a rock and a hard place here. Tallying up the amount, he stole well over 3K from me. My only problem with reporting the charged as fraudulent is that he used my name, and my old address (my father's house which he still lives) to have everything shipped. So as far as the CC's are concerned, I bought stuff and had it shipped to my old address...........

    I've been speaking with my father about this, and he insured me that he'll help me get the money back. Problem is I know my father will just give me the money out of his own pocket, and that's not right. He does not want me to go the legal route, and pretty much begged me not to report it.

    The kid went to rehab earlier in the year and was doing well, then he came back, fell right back into his old position, and is back at it..........
    PPD: Cigar Bombing Task Force

  12. #27

    Cigar Whore


     

    Re: Family member took money......FML

    Report him........thatís your way of helping him. Don't be that guy that loses a family member and then blames himself because he could have intervened but didn't.

    I've seen that happen twice where a family member stole money from a sibling and it wasn't reported. The member who stole in both cases had a huge drug problem. Not to long after the thefts in both cases they died. The siblings then felt horrible that they didn't step in earlier to help.

    I'm telling you....reporting him is your way of helping. Get it documented, get him in front of a judge and maybe they will send him to a court ordered rehab or something.....don't sit by while he kills himself and then feel sorry about it later.

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