Had to Say Goodbye to Kids Today

[jbock]

This really isn't a request for thoughts, or prayers. I just need somewhere to vent. I really didn't know where else to put it, so...Here it is.
Today, after 5 years of marriage, my wife left with our 3 and 6 year old daughters. It has been something we knew was inevitable, but the true shock came to me when she decided to pack everything and move 65 miles away. We have tried to remain cordial with one another as talks of divorce progressed.

Tonight though, I had to drive away and watch my two daughters waving goodbye through the rear view mirror. It has been a little over two hours and I have not been able to control the emotions that this has brought up.

Although I can see them whenever I please, it is not nearly enough. Not after all these years of having them here, in our house. I came home and it is so empty. I miss the sound of them running through the house. I even miss their constant bickering. I feel like a hole has been drilled through me and nothing but an hollow shell exists.

I assume time will make this more tolerable, but for now, I have never felt more devastated.

I have been there for every memorable point in there life, always volunteered at their schools and been a proactive father in all aspects of their lives. Despite this, the court feels that the girls would do better with mom (who is a good mother) who has moved in with her parents and sister in a small house in another county. They could have stayed here, living in the only house they have ever known and in the pre-school and school where all of their friends are.

I have never been an overly religious person. In fact, I have so many more questions than any priest, cleric, or minister has ever been able to answer. For the past several months I have prayed intently though. Wanting to believe....Hoping.

Maybe I just didn't do it right.....

Tomorrow is another day. I just hope it is better than today.

[pakrat]

I don't quite know what to say. Words at a time like this seem so ineffectual. All I can say is that I have had the same feeling before, and you are right, time will make it easier. You can take solace in the fact that they are only about an hour drive away and you will still be able to take part in their lives. Just remember that you love them and they love you. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this troubled time.

Jim

[tzaddi]

I believe you have placed this in the correct forum and my thoughts an prayers are with you. With each day you will find a new answer. Remember when it comes to your children always do your best and you will have no regrets as the years pass by. Your best will vary with each passing day and your children will know you love them.

[Savor the Stick]

PM Sent

STS

[White97Jimmy]

Never been in your exact situation, but as a few CS vets know, my 5 year relationship ended last year. Although I wasn't married yet, we lived with each other all 5 years (we were roommates before dating). It's almost kind of weird that this happened to you today, as my wedding date was supposed to be tomorrow.

All I have to say is keep your head up. Only time will heal. I went through some major anxiety attacks and depression pretty much all of last summer. Although I took a short break from CS, I did keep on herfing with a few of the Detroit gang from time to time, and even made a trip the the Shack Herf. Keeping busy helped keep my mind off of the situation, although yours is a bit different because of kids.

I guess my advice would be to keep busy, keep your head on your shoulders even when depression sets in(don't turn to drugs or alcohol), continue to play as much of a role in your children's lives as you can, and just live each day knowing that everyone has their health. I found that going to a counselor and joining a gym did wonders for me.

[Bruzee]

Best of luck, and my prayer/thoughts are with you. I also sent you a PM, as I found we live close to each other. Take care brother...

[leasingthisspace]

I read this a few minutes ago and I really didn't know what to say to you because nothing I could say is going to make it get better right now. I hope you know we (CS) are here for you.

[longknocker]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Brother! God is able to do all things! Stay close to Him in prayer! Please let us know how things are going. We are always here for you.

[smokehouse]

Sorry to hear that Bro.

My wife and I after 6 years of marriage have decided to end it. It has been inevitable that we go our seperate ways, but have been putting it off. We have a 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter. We are still living together as of right now and are in the talking stages of how things are going to happen. On the bright side of things she dosen't plan on moving away, so I will be able to see my kids whenever I want.

[germantown rob]

I am truly sorry, reading this choked me up and brought a tear to my eyes. I can't imagine having to wave goodbye to my 10 month daughter, I don't know what I'd do without her. I am glad you shared this with us and I know that you are not alone in these hard times, many hear have been through this. The great thing about the CS community is that it is more than cigars that goes down hear. Hang in there!

[Freight Train]

PM Sent

[jbock]

Last night was spent tossing and turning, staring at the walls of the house. And as stupid as it sounds, I tried to get the cockatiel and parakeet pissed at me, just so they would make noise. Stubborn birds would not cooperate. With the girls here, they always make noise. I suppose they are enjoying the solace.

I really was not expected anyone to respond to my post. I just wanted somewhere to get if off my chest.

All I can say is thank you. Reading this messages this morning (and especially the PMs) was an extremely emotional, but a positive experience. I truly value every word that each of you said to me. For those of you who recommended looking at prayer, even though I search for where the previous prayers got re-routed, I will keep with it. If nothing else, it cannot hurt.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. All of you are truly amazing.

Jim

[mugen910]

Bro your in my prayers and thoughts...it's tough when things happen as such but in due time things will correct itself for the better.

[kgoings]

I almost cried reading your first post. I too have two daughters, and I too have had my wife leave me. It was and still is the worst most helpless times of my life. My prayers and thoughts are with you brother.

I am not going to bore you with my stories, but lets just say it all worked out and we are back together. Our first and longest split was after 4 years of marriage. We have now been married for 12 years, we had a bad fight last month and my wife left for a couple days (really dumb fight) those two times in my life were horrible. The first time she left, it was for almost 4 months.

My daughters are my life and I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Keep your chin up brother, take a step back and see what is to be learned.

[floydpink]

I am so sorry to hear about this. My first divorce was painful after 2 years with no kids and I couldn't imagine laying down at night without my daughter in my house.

My family left for a 3 week vacation last year and I had to stay behind and it was tough.

If there is anything i can do in any way, please let me know and stay strong, as this will get better.