IVF...(In-Vitro-Fertilizimation) - this is too much

[mrreindeer]

Disclaimer: This post may be confusing; it may wander to & fro and eventually never get to its point; this post may be entertaining, it may not, it most certainly will not cook you dinner. This post may require batteries, oil, air, other miscellaneous ingredients and artificial flavors which you most certainly won't have in your cupboard and yeast (if you want this post to rise). One 6 ounce serving of this post will provide you with 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of fat, 260 calories, 100% of your Daily Values of Vitamins A, B & F U; it also contains Red#5 yet Phenylketonurics! it does not contain Phenylalanine.

As some of you have requested in the past, this post will have a 'Short Version' at the bottom for those of you who just want me to get to the damn point and not beat around the bush.


Sooooooo…..IVF much?

It seems I'm leaving the fate of my family to science in lieu of love.

As if trying for a kid for the last year and a half hasn't been unromantic enough if not chafe-ful, mrsreindeer & I decided to leave the babymaking up to the professionals.

Well, two fertility clinics later (having never committed to the actual fertilization process at the first 'Fertility Mill' (picture babies arriving via conveyor belt) due to cold feet, I'd even say it was the doctor's cold feet, the Doc who couldn't even remember that his clinic performed laproscopic surgery on my wife, when it was supposed to be he himself to perform the surgery in the first place, but could remember that he selected a nice shade of sage green for the majority of walls in his newly purchased 10,000 square foot home that has showed up all over the local news), we have entered into a period which will hereon be called, 'The Lean Months'.

As we were guided to order this medication & that and sign all sorts of documents including one such document where I truly believe we haven given up the rite of our first born (what struck me odd last is that we had to sign in blood), we were never warned of 'The Lean Months' or any of the other difficulty I would have to endure.

As we've already jumped on in and had ‘the talk’ (birds & the bees, but different) with now two doctors about what exactly this process entails, I feel I’ve been misled. Oh, they’ve been very clear about how much hormones (think gallons…and mornings/evenings of multiple shots, pills, etc.) mrsreindeer would be taking and that we very well could have multiples (30% chance after a 50% chance of getting pregnant) and that there will be frequent office visits and expenses…..oh yes, they’re very keen on getting paid (in fact, fortunately enough, my insurance covers this whole process minus copays and such but my doctor charges a $1,000 “coordination fee”…seriously, wtf) but what they failed to mention at the onset when we signed (in blood) was this:


NO $EX FOR 12 FREAKING WEEKS aka "The Lean Months"


This must be some kind of cruel joke. When was I required to do anything other than provide my, uh, ‘boys’ to do their job while I sit back, grin goofily and straighten my hair? Why was there never any notice that I’d actually have to do the work? Why did they wait to notify me of this until it was too late and mrsreindeer was well on here way down Hormone Hill? Where’s the document that I’d need to sign to acknowledge what ‘really’ I was getting myself into….I guess I should feel more of a part of this whole thing when mrsreindeer has been so much the focus of it all. Prior to this, I really felt rather left out and used just for my $perm. Left me with such a cold feeling (who needs a hug??). I almost felt like asking Doc for a shot of something just so I could play too. Now that I’ve got more on my plate than ‘1 Guy, 1 Cup’, I’m not really happy about it although I’m sure the doctor and nurses will appreciate my efforts in abstinence. Maybe I’ll get a present.

And the no $ex thing isn’t the only thing I’m being forced into…..while the Doc said that since I hadn’t stopped ‘smoking’ (I don’t ‘smoke’ other than 1 – 2 cigars on a weekend; rarely 3) 2 or 3 months ago then it wouldn’t really matter, I called him up on Wednesday (not having had a cigar in a week and a half at that time) to ask if it’d be okay. He relayed through a nurse that I may as well hold off until today.

So…..no $ex, no cigars, no drinking (I assume but he never told me but I figured I’d cut out all the fun completely)…I think that’s way more than I bargained for and so much more work than mrsreindeer has done…I mean, really, the pills, the shot in the morning, the two shots at night and now, today, it all changes up, yet continues so I guess it’s only right since I’m having to do so much. From today, mrsreindeer starts the big-a$$ horse-shot and will have to continue this for another 12 weeks. Was it naïve to think that it would end today?

Because, my friends, today is D-Day…..”Go-Time”…..today, we go in for retrieval. Doc rips the ripe Easter eggs out (I hear it’s painful); I get to have some fun private time with myself and then on Monday, we go in for implanting where Doc shoves the Easter eggs back on in (less painful, I think…and hope...oh, and the eggs go into mrsreindeer, not me).

I joke about this (and lots else) but in actuality, it’s kind of weighed heavy on me lately. Probably one of the reasons I’ve been a little more quiet (true, I have been, trust me). This is a huge step for us. We’re probably the one couple out there that has thought THE MOST about having kids. Almost to the point of not going through with it. And here we are, forcing the issue when we’re unable to naturally…. But you know, thank God we have this option…we’re very fortunate to have these tools, the Docs (okay, not the Fertility Mill Doc) and science available to us because we feel that having kids really is some important part of being human and well, last time I checked…

So, my brothers & sisters, in about an hour or so, I’m off to start my weekend and do my VERY SMALL part in all of this. Mrsreindeer has really really really stepped up here and just shows me every day how lucky I am to have her in my life and reminds me that marrying her was the best thing that I ever did. She has been stronger through this than I could ever imagine and I’m so incredibly impressed by her courage and resolution through all this ‘stuff’, taking every day as it comes, self-administering the shots, taking the pills, going to the many many office visits and going through the many many bloodtests and ultrasounds (yes, already), not being able to drink her wine which she loves so much, feeling crappy at times because of all that’s going through her system, going through the procedures in the past, today and Monday (not to mention what possible childbirth she’ll have to endure) and yet being the positive light of my life that she’s been for the past 9 years of my life with her without letting those hormones take over her psyche as I expected them to do.

So, today, as I look forward to what may happen to our lives in the next few months (not to mention years), take care of business myself (all while thinking of Bao), I merely ask that you might keep us in your thoughts so that my poor wife doesn’t have to endure more painful days of this whole infertility process (which is mostly my fault anyway because my boys are slow…seriously, it’s what the Doc said), we get the girl pregnant, and 9 months from now I’m posting about the wonderful birth of my healthy twin boy & girl and 5 years from now I’m reporting that we’re all healthy and happy and enjoying our lives as joint Rulers of the Universe.

Short version:

-I'm going in today to provide $perm so we can get my wife pregnant
-She's going through a painful procedure after weeks of pills, shots, etc. (aind it ain't over still)
-I hope everything goes ok for us!


Thanks so much for reading and being the incredible support network that you are. If any of you BOTL/SOTL have been through this or not and have any thoughts or advice, I'd love to hear it.

Have a wonderful holiday everybody!

[mrreindeer]

Update: mrsreindeer doing great, surgery on Friday went well (22 Easter eggs!) and I must say my performance was impressive as well....now we're ready for the next step tomorrow.....implantation! followed by 3 days of bed-rest....for her, not me...darnit!

[montecristo#2]

Best of luck - although expensive and physically demanding, at least IVF gives families a chance of having a baby when natural methods do not work.

One of my wife's friends had trouble for years and they finally went the IVF route - they ended up with triplets.

[mrreindeer]

Thank you Aaron....oooof, I hope we stick to twins!

[jledou]

Good Luck!

We were at our last chance and getting ready to head down that road when we got pregnant (we'll not so much we).

My aunt and uncle had to go through in-vitro 2 or 3 times before it worked. I know that they don't regret a minute of it now though.

Don't you technically need eight little reindeer running around? JK 1 is enough to kick my but right now.

J

[themoneycollector]

Prayers out to your wife and you.

[mrreindeer]

Originally Posted by jledou

Don't you technically need eight little reindeer running around? JK 1 is enough to kick my but right now.

Thanks very much J....you know, I've heard so many stories about people going through it 2 or 3 times....mrsreindeer has already been through so much that it sure would be nice for it to work on the first try. Fingers crossed!

[mrreindeer]

Originally Posted by themoneycollector

Prayers out to your wife and you.

Thank you!

Well, the Doc gave us another 2 days for the little guys (or girls) to grow (which is a good thing). Usually they don't wait but we had enough and enough good lookin' ones (thank you very much) that the Doc felt confident to let them grow more so he could better select viable embryos. So he chose 2 and froze 7 and mrsreindeer is on bed-rest until at least Sunday so the little guys (or gals) get used to their new home. I guess we'll find out in about a week if this works!

Thanks fellas for all the well wishes; I really appreciate it.

[piperman]

Good luck buddy, are you able to smoke and drink now? Or are you waiting for another session if need be.

[mrreindeer]

Originally Posted by piperman

Good luck buddy, are you able to smoke and drink now? Or are you waiting for another session if need be.

Oh, I'm good to go Randy!

[mrreindeer]

So.........here's a little update....on Christmas Eve, we found out that mrsreindeer is pregnant! Woohoo! Thanks to you all for your positive thoughts and kind words. So far so good! We'll find out in about 2 weeks if it's twins or not! Very exciting!!!

[scottw]

NICE!!! Great chatting the other night, my wife and I are very happy you you and Amy. Please keep us updated and let me know if you need anything. Since I am a twin, I might be able to help a bit.

[shakespeare]

Didnt catch this post earlier but Congrats man!!!!

[mrreindeer]

Thanks fellas!

And great catching up with you too Scott; man, did I know you're a twin???

[scottw]

Originally Posted by mrreindeer

Thanks fellas!

And great catching up with you too Scott; man, did I know you're a twin???

Dunno but my brother is one minute older than me!