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Life lessons i learned too late

This is a discussion on Life lessons i learned too late within the Thoughts and Prayers forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; i want to start off by saying that i went back and forth a long time about posting this and ...

  
  1. #1

    Puffer Fish with many spikes mike91LX's Avatar


     

    Life lessons i learned too late

    i want to start off by saying that i went back and forth a long time about posting this and decided for it not because i want anyone to feel bad for me (im actually a really quiet person and dont like a lot of attention, and not even some of my closest friends knew anything that was going on in my life because i kept it to myself) but because hopefully this will help some of you reading this.

    This past month and a half has been basicly a living nightmare for me. About a year and a half ago my uncle and his best friend drown while on vacation in florida and ever since then my grandmother went into a downward spiral. Well about 3 weeks ago she passed away. I know it sounds horrible but it was a relief because every day was a constant battle and it was good to see her at peace.


    Also about 5 months ago my mother was having stomach pains and after a month of different testing it was found that she had stage IV pancreatic cancer. My mother was the kind of selfless person that when she found out she wasnt worried at all about herself she just didnt know how she was going to break the news to me and my sister. You have no idea how hard it is hearing a family member telling you that they wish they would be able to watch you grow up but they were so sorry they wont be able to be there for you in the future. From that point on everything progressed so quick it was unbelievable. My mother passed away on Aug. 14th at 54 years old only 4 months after her diagnosis and just one week after my grandmother passed.

    Im writing this to tell you guys that you need to apreciate the people in your life today because tomorrow they may not be there. There are a lot of things i wish i would have done a lot sooner and a lot of things i could have said but didnt. You never think things like this will ever happen to you but you need to make the most of every day and spend as much time with the people important to you as you can.

    Sorry for the wall of text guys its just good to vent and ive been away from the forums for a while but it feels to be back and to have some sort of normalcy back in my life

  2. #2

    No longer a community member.


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    That's what we are here for Mike, I hear you and can relate in way to many ways. I will of course be praying for both and you as well brother. So sorry for your losses for they have been to many to soon!!

    Thank You for sharing I sure hope we all take it to heart.

    Dave

  3. #3

    Puffer Fish with some spikes Tan18_01's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Wow...Living nightmare would be an understatement.
    Sorry for your losses and may your loved once rest in peace.

  4. #4

    Puffer Fish with some spikes Macke's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    I know I'm just another name on the internet, but after my mom died in 2009 because of a 7 year battle with cancer, I had many of the same thoughts that you are experiencing. There truly is not enough time in the world to tell people how you feel, and telling people exactly how much you love them (I know it sounds odd, but you have to go through it) is one of the most difficult things I have tried to do. Sure you can say you love them, but once it's too late there's so many other things you would like to thank them for (especially all the small stuff). It's hard, and I understand, which has ultimately made me more optimistic, friendly and more importantly outgoing.. I'm sorry this has happened to you, and would love to do anything I can to help, shoot me a PM if you think of ANYTHING.

  5. #5

    THE MAN WHO LOVES TWANG! TonyBrooklyn's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    I hear you my brother! May they R.I.P.

    "Don't count the days you have left make every day count"
    ---- Muhammad Ali
    “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
    Jimi Hendrix



  6. #6

    5.0
    5.0 is offline
    Leading Puffer Fish 5.0's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Dude.....I know it was difficult to make that post, but sometimes we need to be reminded not to take things for granted.......
    Oct 4 2010: Find out my mom has cancer
    Oct 9 2010: Dad commits suicide by hanging himself in the garage (2 days after my first vist in a while, seperate issue...found out he had molested my sister for several years...many years ago)
    Nov 30 2010: I am deemed un rehieable and thus unable to transfer to a position in Philly (Comcast's headquarters)due to a miscommunication with employer while on short term disability while dealing witht he above.

    I found out that regardless of how much Comcast told me that I was not just a number, but a valued employee....I was just a number and I believe I am better off.

    I know this is such a cliche........Time is your friend and what helps pass the time.........staying in contact with friends, whether online or face to face.....
    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

  7. #7

    Puffer Fish with many spikes mike91LX's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers guys

  8. #8

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader Oldmso54's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    From your post Mike:

    "Im writing this to tell you guys that you need to apreciate the people in your life today because tomorrow they may not be there. There are a lot of things i wish i would have done a lot sooner and a lot of things i could have said but didnt. You never think things like this will ever happen to you but you need to make the most of every day and spend as much time with the people important to you as you can."

    Totally, totally true - thank you for reminding me, at least, of those two bolded lines. I'm sure the future will be brighter for you.

    I ain't ! I'm just a little large for my size!

  9. #9

    Leading Puffer Fish jdfutureman's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Mike, hang in there and sorry for your loss. Yes a normal routine helps you get through each day. One day at a time and you learned the right lesson, appreciate everyday.
    "Stay thirsty my friends" -- The Most Interesting Man in the World

  10. #10

    Leading Puffer Fish TXsmoker's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Quote Originally Posted by mike91LX View Post
    Im writing this to tell you guys that you need to apreciate the people in your life today because tomorrow they may not be there. There are a lot of things i wish i would have done a lot sooner and a lot of things i could have said but didnt. You never think things like this will ever happen to you but you need to make the most of every day and spend as much time with the people important to you as you can.
    +10000. When my dad passed away, I had the oppertunity to see him the day before and didnt. I had plans to take him out for his birthday (the next day), and thought its no big deal. Boy, how wrong I was. Now, I did talk to him daily on the phone, and see him at least weekly, but that one time I didnt go see him is the thing that I regret most in life. Of course if would have been different if I had known he was sick, let alone dying. Now I call and visit family and friends way more often. You can learn from your mistakes, but you cant change them, no matter how much you want to.

    Mike, Im sorry to hear about your losses. You any your family will be in my prayers.

  11. #11

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader Cigary's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Very insightful post...redeeming the time we have to do the things that are right is easier said than done. Human beings are somewhat selfish in regards to living...life shakes us up when it is threatened directly and loss of life is that time when our world stops spinning and we have a moment of clarity. We see the world for what it is...a spinning top that can be insensitive and hard to deal with esp. when we have a loved one whose life is threatened or taken away from us before we've had the chance to let them know how we feel. We spend more time in our own selfish pleasures instead of doing for others...this my friends is what truly makes us happy...doing for others. I lost a dear friend last Friday and we attended their service and we feel fortunate that we "redeemed" the time we had to let her know how much she was loved and appreciated so we have that to help get us through this loss. We know from our faith where her eternity is and that again gives us significant positive feelings for not dwelling on what is lost to us.

    Whatever your feelings are or how you feel about this topic...loss is profound and has a lot to do with our perspective of life in general and how we view our world. Let those people who are in your life that are important to you..let them know how important they are. You never get a second chance to say what you wanted to when they are gone.
    A mind is like a parachute...it works best when it's open.

  12. #12

    Huge Puffer Fish packed with spikes CALIFORNIA KID's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    My prayers are for you and yours
    disclaimer: I am a just a guy with too many cigars and too many guns, what ever I say is probably wrong. PM me if you are in the 916 and want to herf

  13. #13

    Stay-Puft CeeGar's Avatar


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    Mike, i'm sorry for your losses. It's easy to tell someone to "make the most of everyday", when i'm just as guilty as the next guy for not heeding that advice. It's tough. Busy, hectic lives just make it that much tougher. Hang in there friend.
    “I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.”
    ―Joe Walsh

  14. #14

    Scotch & Cigars


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    May they RIP.

    Well written post Mike, I only know you so far as a well respected Puff member but if there is anything you need don't hesitate...this is a wake-up call that I sure will act upon.

  15. #15

    No longer a community member.


     

    Re: Life lessons i learned too late

    My heart goes out to you brother. I went through a phase in life just like that, and it really did mess with my head for a while. The only thing that helped was time, friends and family. Glad you are back and hope the rest of your family is coping as well.

    Ps I am sure we have all heard that it takes a TRUE man to talk about his feelings and emotions, and I certainly do believe this to be true. Good for you for opening up and sharing with us. That is a huge step in the healing process! Nice job!

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