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Need some support

This is a discussion on Need some support within the Thoughts and Prayers forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; This may turn into a rant but I just need to vent. I have had a pretty bad year so ...

  1. #1

    Puffer Fish with some spikes mikel1128's Avatar


    Need some support

    This may turn into a rant but I just need to vent. I have had a pretty bad year so far and it feels like it is gonna get worse.

    Last summer I went out one night after work to have a couple of drinks with some friends. I had a little to much and ended up getting a DWI. I did my court and had to spend 2 weeks in the county lockup. It ended up costing me my job that I had held for 9 years. And since then I have yet to find consistent work, but not for a lack of trying.

    My girlfriend has stood by me this whole time and supported me, even tho I have been far from a good boyfriend during this time.

    We have been together for basically 2 years. The only time we were not together was for 1 week in month 2. I hooked up with my ex and thought I might get back together with her, obviously I didn't and my girlfriend took me back.

    But back on topic. Lately I can tell that the situation is starting to take a toll on her emotionally. We are fighting all the time now and the fights don't end. I haven't slept in my own bed in 2 weeks, I've been staying with my best-friend.

    I'm scared now because she is going to visit her parents in Florida and I just have a bad feeling that she isn't gonna come back.

    I'm not normally one to believe in the power of prayer or ask for it, But I feel like I'm out of options.

    So brothers and sisters of the leaf please help me pray that she comes back to me. I don't want to lose her forever. She is one of the best things to ever happen to me.

    Sorry for ranting on, but just know that any prayers are greatly appreciated.
    Life is to short for hot beer.

  2. #2

    Invading Grabber Robot dav0's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Michael, the advise that I feel someone should give you here is that while each of us has free choice, inevitably in our lives there are times when our destiny is shaped by things outside of our control. This may be one of those times for you, and my advice is to keep your resolve to be a better person regardless of what your girlfriend decides to do.

    Prayers for her to return are not what's needed. Thoughts and prayers that you find the strength to improve your life, regardless of the twists and turns that life has given you is what we should ask for.

    I do not say this lightly. I know you don't want to hear this, least of all from someone you know so little. Believe me, life has a strange way of making the correct path very hard for us to see when we are walking, sometimes in the dark, and cannot see beyond the foot or two in front of us.

    Those strong in faith like to say The Almighty does everything for a reason, and to call upon your faith for that inner strength. That is what I shall pray for, you to have that strength. Stay strong, if it's meant to be she will return and if she does not, you will need the strength to keep from spiraling further. STAY STRONG!

  3. #3

    True Derelict Fuzzy's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Very insightful, Dav0! Since I am in a bad year too, I am going to keep my chin up and stay strong. Hopefully Michael will do the same.
    I don't always drink beer,,,
    OK, yes I do

  4. #4

    Cigar Artist DarrelMorris's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Michael, I will pray for a possitive outcome in this for you. We need to remember, however, that what we think we need isn't always what is best for us in the long run. There have been many times where I truly felt as if God had abandoned me. I was wrong. Without exception, I can look back and see that I needed to go through a period of intense pain to arrive at a much better place than where I started. Hopefully your girlfriend will come back to you. If she does you'll need to prove to her that she made the right decission. Not just for a month or two, but from now on. The biggest mistake any of us can make is to take the people in our lives for granted. If she comes back, you have a lot of work to do to let her know she's appreciated. I understand how frustrating it is to lose a job and not be able to find another. I've been looking for over two years now. We absolutely MUST stay possitive. It would be very easy to slip into self pitty, but this just makes things worse and takes a huge toll on our loved ones. Stay strong, stay possitive, and have faith. You aren't alone.

  5. #5

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader piperdown's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Stay strong and positive.
    DUI changed my life 22 years ago for the better. I was thankful I didn't hurt anyone and I made a decision to get my life in order. I kept positive but it wasn't always easy. If I can do it so can you.

  6. #6

    turf monkey supreme android's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    some good words said already... i'll be thinking of you brother, hope this whole ordeal gets sorted out without causing too much additional agony.

  7. #7

    The Karate Squid Aninjaforallseasons's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    We often turn to God in the "foxholes" of life. A God who we ignore the rest of the time, we somehow presume must be kind to us, or rather must give us what we want, if enough people ask Him nicely. But why would a God, upon whom you have turned your back, and who's laws and decrees you've ignored, choose to grant you a desire that may not, by your own admission, be in the best interests of another person?

    That being said, sometimes God brings us to our knees and leaves us with no other option in order that we might repent, and that we might turn to Him as our only hope. You've admitted that there are no other options, and I believe you. I've been there. When my parents nearly divorced when I was in high-school, I had no other options. When my then-fiance (now wife) considered breaking off our engagement because of something I had done, I had no other options. When my son lay on the table in the NICU, his lungs being pumped with steroids because they were too weak to breath on their own, I had no other options. I'm not speaking flippantly, or trying to preach, but I want you to know I feel passionately about this because I've been there.

    In every one of those situations, God brought me to my knees. My pride, my refusal to bow before Him, and my desire to rule my life for myself, had caused me to come to a place where I ignored Him. But He left me with no other options than to fall before Him and admit that I did not control my own destiny. I had no control over life and death. And I certainly could not presume upon His kindness without calling Him my Lord and my God.

    If you know you have turned your back on God, don't presume that He will prevent you from suffering the consequences of your own folly. But know that He is a forgiving God. Know that He does work all things together for the good of those who love Him.

    I don't mean to add insult to injury, I sincerely don't. But, sometimes hearing the truth helps awaken our senses, and can help us get back to where we ought to be. If you sincerely want her back, be the man she deserves, and the man you know you ought to be. Stop fighting with her and start serving her needs. Forget about what you get from her, and start focusing on how she can get what she needs from you. Obviously she loves you, as she's put up with quite a lot. Now you need to prove to her that you can change, and be a better man.

    And know that if you ever want to discuss these things further, I'd be more than happy to chat with you! I will indeed be praying for you, and for her, and that God works in both of your lives in a mysterious, but wonderful way!
    On Instagram as @stogieninja || Reviewer for Blind Man's Puff
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  8. #8

    Puffer Fish with some spikes mikel1128's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Thanks for the advice everyone.

    I do want to clarify a little bit about what I meant by saying she makes me a better person, I feel that I worded that wrong.

    When I met her I was at a really dark place in my life. And she helped bring me back to the person I really am. Maybe saying that she made me a better person was mis stated. She was the one when I felt like I couldn't talk to my family or best friend, she was there.

    I completely understand. everyone saying if it is meant to be then it will be. I just wish there was something more.

    Sorry if this sound whiney or any thing. Just a really tough time right now.
    Life is to short for hot beer.

  9. #9

    Puffer Fish with some spikes mikel1128's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Have an update for everyone.

    Within 2 days, my best friend, who is more of a brother than my actual brothers.

    He got me set up with a job working where he does. And also called my girlfriend and convinced her to come back.

    So starting Monday, I go back to work. And Friday my girlfriend will be back. I'm set up for a good week.
    Life is to short for hot beer.

  10. #10

    Midlife crises Puffer mcgreggor57's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Great news!
    Tobacco Cellar: http://www.tobaccocellar.com/mcgreggor57
    Never trust a woman's tears or a dog's limp.

  11. #11

    True Derelict Fuzzy's Avatar


    Re: Need some support

    Ahhh, the trials of life. Hopefully, there is something to be learned from your experience. The lesson should strengthen you for more trials. In a few decades, you might even have a me-too moment of this incident and chuckle about it with someone.
    I don't always drink beer,,,
    OK, yes I do

  12. #12

    Huge Puffer Fish packed with spikes


    Re: Need some support

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzy View Post
    Ahhh, the trials of life. Hopefully, there is something to be learned from your experience. The lesson should strengthen you for more trials. In a few decades, you might even have a me-too moment of this incident and chuckle about it with someone.
    Well said Bruce. Don't let the negatives in life get you down. Learn from them and move on. Congratulations on the recent turn around.


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