Again thanks. I find that the anger is really deep seated in me and I think it comes out at times in my words or my tone towards others and I'm trying to work on it but well.. it's hard. I'm not angry at him even.. I think I'm just angry that no one was around to help him. Or maybe I'm just angry.
It does seem to have created a little of a negative rep for me though, some of my actions. I hear a lot of rumors or gossip about me too unfortunately. There's nothing I can do on here about that, but please don't take what you hear about me as truth without actually knowing me, I'm just in a very dark part right now.
I'm trying to get more involved here though, I've met some really encouraging people that have made me want to, like with the contest that's nearly over and a few other things. My attempt to at least get to know some other people, though that doesn't really let them get me. A community to just kind of talk to helps.
Again though, it's about those hurt, not me.
Anyway, again my sincerest thanks for the things people have said on this thread to me. I very much appreciate it and the prayers going elsewhere to the family.