So few will ever know what it's like to help carry the casket of a 20 year old...
A few of you know that a few weeks back I had to head back to Oakland County for a funeral and was around the area for a week. That's the time I did that newb review that is so low in votes lol (my fault). Anyway, while I've tried to keep it in a lot, the truth is I never really talked about it or vented about the pain it brought me, but more than that the family of my late friend and his friends.. they're hurting quite a bit too. His life just.. there was a lot of shit going on and without getting too much in detail, it just all overloaded him at his weakest point, and he couldn't take it and so he took his life. This is pretty hard on me, the friends and his family. I wasn't even around at the time it happened so I couldn't help even though I would have if I knew.
I've noticed and should apologize for the potentially arrogant and perhaps asshol'ish tendencies I've had the past few weeks and my tendency to argue more than normal. This isn't normal for me but I'm not that good at dealing with this type of thing and so I've had it affect me and my behavior, I want to apologize for that, it was certainly not what I wanted to do, but suffice it to say, it's been hurting me a lot and made me angry, and it's even had me really consider my faith and lose some faith in it as well.. as terrible as that sounds, it's the truth.
I see a lot of people posting things about requesting prayers and good thoughts and so I wondered if I could ask for those prayers as well. What happened has made me angry, it's not something that's easy for me to deal with and that's not fair to others, worse than that it's killing some of the friends and family that were affected as he was their only child. I knew this guy since before I can really remember and he was one of the nicest people I met, wherever he is now.. he's left a significant impact, and it's truly a loss to the world to lose such a guy I think.
I think I talked a bit about myself more than I wanted, but if it's hurting me like this after just over 2 weeks (which is definitely not a lot of time to digest this, especially after being so busy and stressed in my college classes and work) then I can only imagine what it's doing to the family. So any prayers you can offer towards them or myself are greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance..