Anti-Smoke Nazi stories

[Stinkdyr]

I just have to repost what I wrote on another site cuz I am having such a good laugh reliving the experience:

I shyt you not...there I was, there I was, sitting at my little table at a little bar in Rio last summer minding my own, smoking a lovely Dona Flor robusto. I am ABSOLUTELY SURROUNDED by cariocas toking cigarettes non-stop and---no I am not making this up--a table of 5 next to me herking on a HOOKAH, and the waiter came up to me to request that I move outside cuz my cigar smoke was bothering the other patrons!

[RCReecer]

I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.

[redlegrod]

Originally Posted by RCReecer

I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.

I wish I could have seen her face! That would have been too funny!

Rod

[afilter]

I work in one of the largest Anti-smoking conclaves of the USA, Madison, WI. I often smoke in my car during my commute in and out of the liberal republic of Madison just to piss people off.

[Cigary]

Originally Posted by RCReecer

I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.

Classic answer,,,,,you need to meet up with us fellow Ga. brothers at Papis next week. Your personality is perfect fit!

[BillyVoltaire]

Did you fellow Georgians see that they outlawed smoking in Glover Park, in the town square of Marietta? Unbelievable.

BV

[orca99usa]

I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.

Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.

This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.

[Yellowfever]

I have had a similar experience on an outdoor patio of a bar/restaurant. People smoking cigarettes like crazy and the manager RUDELY asked me to put the cigar out. I tried to argue my point with all the cigarette smokers out there what was the problem. They have as no cigar/clove policy. I guess they only want people to smoke the stinky smokes and not the good smelling ones. Anyways after a little argument I cancelled my drink order and stepped 1 foot to the side which was on the public sidewalk and smoked there. He looked bewildered because I was off his property and on the city property but hadn't moved more than a foot. I said “you didn’t think this through before you approached me, did ya?” It was a lose-lose for him. He still had to smell my smoke but couldn’t sell me his 12$ martinis anymore.

[Jack Straw]

Originally Posted by orca99usa

Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.

This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.

When my dad was in the army he was in DC in the 70's I think and something like this happened, some girl came up and put a flower down the barrel of his friend's rifle. His friends response was to take the flower out and eat it.

[Big Bluto]

Awhile back I was smoking a 5 Vegas Alpha with my uncle outside a cafe at lunch and lo and behold, a Granolasaurus Rex pulls some sh** with all that fake coughing and a nasty lick-a-toilet-bowl scowl. Forget the fact that there is a freaking bus stop an arms length away from her ugly jack-o-lantern face that was spewing leaded fuel into the air. I'm normally not such a disgruntled a**hole, but her ugly rake-mouth frown made my cigar taste even better.

[Cigary]

Originally Posted by BillyVoltaire

Did you fellow Georgians see that they outlawed smoking in Glover Park, in the town square of Marietta? Unbelievable.

BV

Yeah,,,I don't go there but it still frosts me that this crap is taking place. Imagine not being able to smoke outside but yet buses, industrial vehicles spewing out all that garbage into the air but yet cigars are off limits,,,,makes perfect sense to me.

Originally Posted by orca99usa

Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.

This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.

Classic.

Originally Posted by Yellowfever

I have had a similar experience on an outdoor patio of a bar/restaurant. People smoking cigarettes like crazy and the manager RUDELY asked me to put the cigar out. I tried to argue my point with all the cigarette smokers out there what was the problem. They have as no cigar/clove policy. I guess they only want people to smoke the stinky smokes and not the good smelling ones. Anyways after a little argument I cancelled my drink order and stepped 1 foot to the side which was on the public sidewalk and smoked there. He looked bewildered because I was off his property and on the city property but hadn't moved more than a foot. I said “you didn’t think this through before you approached me, did ya?” It was a lose-lose for him. He still had to smell my smoke but couldn’t sell me his 12$ martinis anymore.

Great story and I would have done the same.

[rajuabju]

Originally Posted by orca99usa

Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.

This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.

Best. Response. Ever.

[Plop007]

Today I was hiking with my Dad and his friends

and one of them asks me if it was true that I smoke cigars.

I said yes I smoke about 1-2 a week. The guy went crazy telling me I am going to die of mouth cancer and also.. my Dad who also smokes cigars tells me "even though your 18 you shouldn't act like your grown up so fast" (something like that)

I just tell them thats their own opinion and that I can smoke whenever the hell i want and how many I want.

Just tyring my best to ignore them..

[Blackcat]

A horrible thing indeed! I still can't understand why you can't smoke in Tobacco shops...??!!!! I mean uhhhhhh are there people here who don't smoke?

[Stinkdyr]

Originally Posted by Plop007

Today I was hiking with my Dad and his friends

and one of them asks me if it was true that I smoke cigars.

I said yes I smoke about 1-2 a week. The guy went crazy telling me I am going to die of mouth cancer and also.. my Dad who also smokes cigars tells me "even though your 18 you shouldn't act like your grown up so fast" (something like that)

I just tell them thats their own opinion and that I can smoke whenever the hell i want and how many I want.

Just tyring my best to ignore them..

You missed the golden opportunity to tilt the Nanny State towards them. Next time, you tell them, "I am deeply concerned for your health....I see that you drink beer and occasionally eat sugary, fatty donuts...you will die someday from the bad diet choices you are making. And let's up your exercise regimen while we are at it!"