I've had a little bit of trouble in the Ukraine.

Chewbacca Arrested While Campaigning For Darth Vader In Ukraine.
Ukraine: 'Chewbacca' arrested during 'Darth Vader' election campaign - BBC News

I would, but I'm a little short until I can make another Kessel run. It seems your fine went up from 7 credits to 700,000 because they found some Mustafarian herb tucked inside those Tatooine blunts you were carrying.



Oh, and Gunga cigars suck!

Listen, I know we don't discuss politics here and I'm fine with that.
But I need to explain why I had to go out and campaign for Darth Vader, and why I'm in this mess, so please hear me out.

I've fallen on hard times, and I'm not too proud to admit it. The wife left me for an Ewok, and has taken everything, including all my stock, even those extremely rare Dilnlexans that were worth upwards of 100,000 credits a piece.

I lost a lot playing cards with those cheating' bastard Jawas, borrowed a lot of credits from Tuskan Raiders to pay off my bar tab at the Mos Eisley Spaceport cantina (and also for the wrecked furniture and the medical bills for the injured musicians), and am struggling with a Thikkiian brandy problem. Solo fired me from the Falcon after I crashed the bird into a Trade Federation cruiser while wasted on Thikkiian.

I need help.

I know I'm new here, but some of you are familiar from the Outlander Club, or that bar in Telerath where I'd get into vicious fights with Corellians.

I'm hoping that the good citizens of Puff will show their generosity and help a buddy in distress. I got some money coming to me from Watto for an R1-series astromech droid he bought from me. I know I can pay you all back.

So, please, bail me out. I'll change, I promise, and I'll never let you down again.

Sorry man (oops, no offense intended). Didn't understand a word of that. Could you please find a protocol droid to interpret all the yawning roars, groans and gargles? When you get on one of those "woe is me" rants, Wookiee just sounds like a Brentaal whore hopped up on Magravian cat-spice to me.

I tried to be polite, but you have pissed me off!

[video=youtube;1qPeUAMvYeo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qPeUAMvYeo[/video]

I'm sure the local mutants can help you out. Maybe a time lord can pop back and help you out as all this stuff happened a long, long time ago, in a far, faraway place. If anybody can fix this it's the Doctor, but watch out for those damned daleks. If you hear "exterminate, exterminate!" Don't hesitate to put a can of woke ass-whopping on them. They just want to confiscate your sticks.


"What should we start with?"
"An '82 Margaux."
"Is it good?"
"Good? It will make you believe in God!"

Chewbacca,
please take a good cigar and relax

I'm gonna need a full-on interpreter for this thread....I feel like I just walked in on a movie with subtitles in the last 15 minutes of the film.

How about heading over to the Cigar Puffers Introduction Forum and introducing yourself. So far you have not posted anything of any substance, and precious little that's even remotely related to cigars. Puff is not a playground, however much it may appear to be one to you. Members do cut-up and post about other subjects once they get to know each other, but it's a cigar forum. There is a fundamental expectation of an interest in cigars. Your posts lack any indication that you share our affinity.

Thank you,
Puff Moderating Team

Another dead thread brought to life by a newbie for absolutely no apparent reason.